How Much I Value Myself

          With the things and people that surround me, I do value myself very much. Without them, I might not be able to appreciate the life that God has given me. There were times that I wish that I would want to end my life but because of the people who made me feel special and loved, I still want to continue being with them.

        If I would rate myself as to how much I think is my value, I would say that my value is zero for I see other people more important than myself. On the contrary, I would also say that zero is a great number for every time a number is being divided to zero, it always result as zero and the same thing goes for multiplying a non-zero number to zero. But when one tries to divide a number by zero, it becomes undefined which is what I see as something that would make me an essential part of a person’s life. I would make them seem so indefinite of what they supposed to mean that they have to look and search for it until the end of time. 

“Have great confidence in the Divine Providence. He will provide us with what we need.”

          Another school year came wherein it was a different year since it was the mark of the beginning of another chapter in my life, high school life. When I was little, my older cousins and relatives told me that this chapter was the best one they ever experienced, as they were still students. As I looked up to their opinions, I expected that it would mean the same for me as well.


          The first day came. It seemed the usual first day where some who flocked around the blackboards to see the section they were in and then, they proceeded to the gymnasium for the opening of the school year and introductions of the members of the Manresan family. After the announcements, we, the students, went to their own respective classrooms where I thought it would be just the same with the past first days I had in school. Little did I know that it would not just to be about being a high school student who would enjoy the four years ahead of me but also to be part of an experiment that changed my road as a normal student and became my life’s defining moment as a student and as a Manresan.


          This experiment was to be a part of the batch with a pilot class wherein I was unknowingly a member of that class. I was not able to comprehend as to why it seemed that there was something going on with the class I was in until the teachers told us what happened. At first, I was afraid that I would not be able to cope up with my classmates for they were quite different from the sets of people I had been with during my elementary days. I feared that I would shatter the teachers’ expectations of what a student in our class should be. I felt being inferior with people such as them for I thought highly of them because of their past academic performances and belittled myself and developed a low self-esteem. But as I gradually talked and communicated with them, it helped me to let go of my feelings of inferiority and it eventually changed into something new that gave me a delightful feeling, which was friendship. I learned how to socialize with other people who were outside my circle of friends then, they eventually came in and extended the small circle into a big one. I challenged myself to prove that I well deserved in making it to this class and in receiving this as a blessing for me. Through the efforts of my classmates to befriend and help me, I overcame the hardships and difficulties I encountered as I journey to reach the destination to become a mature Christian who humbled herself to others and kept herself still standing in the ground.


          With this kind of surroundings, it could not be help that a sense of competitiveness would arose within me. It came to a point that even my closest friends became my rivals as it regarded with who had the highest grade among us though it was just a one-sided competition since I was the only one who was conscious of what was happening. Their innocence made me feel that it was worthless to compare my grades with others since there was a person who I should beat before others which was me.


          Being in this class made me realize and feel that a second family came and adopted me to be a member of theirs who appreciated from the smallest up to the biggest thing that I had done for them and needed me to be with them. As some said that As years passed, the great moment that supposed to be a short term that I felt became into a lifelong experience wherein it would not limit in the four corners of the classroom as the high school life ended but instead it would extend to the infinite parameters the world has. Thus, a defining moment for me meant to give a big impact in my future and influence life as a person, a Manresan and a Christian. It made me become the person who I am as of this time and I would let others be the judge as to whether I have turned into a better person or not.